je deteste l'argent

hi.
i miss home so fucking much right now. i just had a conversation about money with the parents that made me feel so stupid and mortified because it's difficult talking about something as touchy as money when you speak the same language, but add that to a language barrier and i w;anted to die. the kid's school is on strike thursday so that's 10 extra hours he's with me and i wanted to know if id be paid for those hours, and it's no because there are some weeks where im under my weekly agreed upon hours and some that im over, so this just figures in that. and i understand, but i guess it was the combination of absolute terror in talking money in FRENCH with a family that im not a part of but just live with, homesickness, and homesickness.

today was so good besides that. the kids were so good, which made me happy because i was super worried about how'd they be when i got back. i ran and worked out in front of the boy's school and all the moms were looking at me. "americans" they were probably thinking. then i went to yoga and iw as so much more tranquil and able to listen and that was great. then i made the kiddies lunch and then napped (im lacking on restful sleep after this weekend) and then went to the park with them. we peed in the public toilets and the girl pooped and we didn't have toilet paper for her. oops. don't poop before you check for paper, babydoll.

then we had cheese and bread for dinner and i was so happy because i love both of those things!

mmk ill talk about some of the things i did this weekend, but i just want to devote a whole post to it, and im not in a place to do that now. but it was so great, minus the 35 euros i got fined for getting on a train without a ticket. but the trains rides were still great because there were 3 strangers who were so kind to me. after i got fined and was crying, this old lady gave me candy to make me feel better. i was like god. what a beautiful person. then the snack cart came by and when i heard the price of coffee, i told him no thank you, but the old couple across from me insisted that htey'd treat me. it was so nice. god they were great. i want to be old and married like them. they shared dinner and held hands and mmmm. they were beautiful. then i had my french lesson and ooooowwwweeee im getting better. and the girl is super cool too.

the cat that i mentioned is adrien's cat and it is the sweetest cat i've ever met and so beautiful and if i get a cat, i hope she's as nice as this cat. aww it was great.

the gay parade and the library book i want to talk about later because it was just so beautiful. but, you know people, all love is love. and in a world where things are really fucked up, who are we to say that your love isn't right? we need all the love we can get. if a man wants to love another, go for it. im down. ok actually ill talk more about the parade. it was so great. there were gay people all over the place with their loves and just so happy to be out and about. and there were no counter-protesters which made me so happy. i feel like in america, there'd be some right wing people freaking out and tellin these people they're doing to hell. not here. it was just fine. and it was so funny becuase there was a traditional (man and woman, white dress/tuxedo) wedding that processed right into the square where the gay parade was. the juxtapostion was great. so beautiful. and the library book. the little girl picked out a book that was called "what color will the baby be?" and it was a cute book about a black guy and a white woman who got married and their nieces where speculating what color the baby would be
"striped like a zebra?" "gray like an elephant?" "black head and white body or vice versa?"
so they finally asked their aunt and uncle and they replied that the baby would be the color of love, and i thought that was the most beautiful color in the world, and i was so happy that a book had been made that said that. if your baby was made with love, why does her color matter? if black and white weren't supposed to mix, don't you think their puzzle pieces wouldn't fit? oh but those pieces fit just fine.

alright. yeah so that's a little taste of this weekend. hopefully i'll get to talk baout it more later. one other thing i loved was being in adrien's house. i was a part of his family and treated differently then i am here. if i wanted to help, i was being nice, not doing my job. god the parents were so sweet and just so loving, and it felt so great because i felt like they were taking care of me, which is such a foreign concept for me lately because ive had to do everything for myself AND the kids. the mom gave me a coat and shoes to wear and fed us, and aww was just a great mom.

mmk im going to bed in 19 minutes.
gnight. HOOT HOOT owls
chels